killing flies

I promised you a while back that I will try to post more of my dreams. Sometimes, I'm afraid to reveal them. For many reasons, but mainly because of something I heard before. If you reveal your dreams, they won't come true. So I try to stay mum about the good ones. The one I had the other night was a good one - but I didn't know it was good until I looked it up the meaning on a dream dictionary site.

It went like this; I walked into an enclosed patio. Someone's house, not sue who. There was a glass jar full of flies. They were flying to the top and then falling back down. They couldn't seem to take flight. As soon as they flew to the top, I would hit them down dead. Some, I pinched. Some I hit with a rock. I killed them all. I continued to do this until they were all dead. I then woke up.

I had to get up to find out what this dream meant. Thought it was something really bad. It ended up meaning that I would redeem myself and regain my honour after my "fall from grace". That kinda makes sense, I guess.

I start a new 9-5 Tomorrow. Dream job kinda deal. Could this be my redemption?

ocean dreams

I haven't written about one of my dreams in a long while. March 24th 2012 to be exact.  The last couple of days, I've been having some weird dreams. Thought I'd share:

The one from Wednesday was confusing. Seems like I was working at my old high school. Renting an office or something. Part of the dream, I was doing my regular work. The other part, I was in school. Learning. The dream ended off with me being lost. I came from outside to see everything black. The hallways, the classrooms, the old gym. I ran downstairs, and down a smoky hallway. That's when I woke up.

To dream of a hallway "signals spiritual enlightenment, emotional growth, physical prowess, new opportunities and mental passages in your life".

I guess I'm missing something.

The one from last night made more sense after decoding it.

 I had a dream that I was at my hose. While everything looked the same, I noticed I lived on the beach. My bedroom led out to a balcony which over looked an ocean. When I tried to open the door to go on the balcony, I saw a huge gap I had to jump over. I made the jump and stood on the balcony. The ocean water was calm. Nice waves. I could see mountains and a nice beach a mile away.

Deaming about an ocean represents the state of my "emotions and feelings. It is indicative of spiritual refreshment, tranquillity, and renewal". While dreaming of a balcony refers to my "ambivalence regarding a situation" where I'm "feeling torn or undecided".

Most of the time, my dreams are interesting and worth talking about. I'll try to jot them down more.

the baby dream

Another day. Another dream. Last night was the first time I ever had a dream of being a father. From what I can remember. Anyway, here it goes. It's an interesting one.

I'm in a room and a girl hands me a tiny brown baby. She tells me he looks like me. He does. Right down to the smile and the eyes. I'm in awe. I can't seem to let go of him. I feel confused at the same time. What to do now? I call my Mother. I need help. I'm alone in a room with this tiny human and I am in loss of words. He's looking at me. I'm looking at him. My Mom comes in and I give her the baby. We talk about how cute he is. He smiles. My Mom asks me what to name him. I wonder. This is going to be hard. I think of my fathers name. Then, Malcolm. Or Martin. Or an Islamic name. Islamic names are strong and masculine. A girl enters. I don't know her. She's pretty. She tells me she is my son's mother. I give her the baby. We hold hands.

I wake up.

I checked out what dreams mean. They symbolize being anxious for an event or new beginnings.

the earthquake dream

It's 4.01AM. I decided to get up to write this dream down before I forget it. I couldn't really sleep, anyhow..

It really well. Shook me...

I'm on the roof of a high rise in Downtown Toronto. Beautiful day. I'm with a bunch of friends while the BBQ is going and the music is blaring. My sister is there, too. We're all having a great time. A friend of mine is asking some other of the guys about where he can get some hard drugs. PCP kind of hard stuff. This while I'm rolling a spliff. The Mary Jane feels a bit grainier. It's not green at all but yellow. I look down and I see a bunch of beer in a box. Different types of bottles. Shape and colors. They look fancy. I was about to say something to my sister when it happened.

The earth started to move.

We were having an earthquake. 100 stories  up. The buildings start to shake. We start to shake. We're yelling for our lives. It stops. I say how I had a dream about an earthquake the night before, when it starts again. Aftershock? This time a bit harder. And longer.  Another earthquake. We all grab on to each other. The drugs go flying. The beer tossed.

I wake up.

cold sweats.

Woke up in cold sweats. No Nightmare. No crazy flying dream. Just woke up in cold sweats. Not sure why. I craved the leftover french fries that have been sitting in the fridge for two days now. Made some poutine with them on Wednesday. Needed a fry break after that dish. Today is a new day. Today I was able to finish them. Downloading the Alexander Ebert album. Waiting. I did have some weird dreams last night. A bunch of fighting and tripped out stuff that I don't want to get into. One does have to do with a family reunion and me running away and falling off my bed in the hotel room. I hear if you dream about being in bed, it signifies `putting a situation to bed'. Get it? Cool. I was hoping I didn't need to explain that. Anyway, I think I know what my body is trying to tell me. Thanks for the heads-up, bud. The download is almost finished. I'm really digging this Alexander dude. If you get a chance, give him a listen. He's cool. I fell asleep before The Shore last night. Debating if I want the fab gino crew in my life for 2012. Maybe. Just so tempting to watch. Addicting, really. Sad. I'm sure I'll watch. Just getting really tired of them and their useless manufactured drama. It's Friday. My yearly weekend of vegetating and creating has begun. In solitude. I like to begin the first weekend of the year like this. I have done it for maybe five years now? It's a chance to detox from all the stuff I did during the holidays and a chance to be by myself and think. Sore from the yoga I did last night. I might have to watch some How To videos this weekend on how to properly execute the moves. This is why I love Youtube. Vimeo is fast becoming a favourite, too. Ah.  Download is done. Pressing play. Goodnight.

vintage train dream

I went to sleep at around 9pm. Or just before. I knew I'd be up again tonight. Always happens. I thought it'd be later. Guess not. Three hour nap felt like an 8 hour deep sleep. That's how it flows, sometimes I guess. The dream I had was deep. Happy that I woke. Now, able to jot it down before I forget.


I'm on a vintage carrier train. It's narrow. The door is open. I look outside. The train is dark red. I reach inside my pocket to grab my camera. I take a picture of the scenery. I put my head back inside. I see my stuff sprawled out on four different chairs in the front. Computer, Jacket, Hat, Bag, Lunch, Shoes. I see a captain's hat. I put it on. I walk down to check the rest of the train. Only luggage and big boxes on here. I look outside once again. Beautiful forest area. I take more pictures. The train starts to slow down. Looking around. We've arrived at a park I ued to hang out at as a kid. I get off. I see a small train station. I go inside. It's like I just walked into 1920! Tap my hat to the people waiting on the benches. I walk towards the exit sign.

I wake up.

I looked up train in my dream dictionary. It said;

To dream that you are on a train symbolizes your life's journey. It suggests that you are on the right track in life and headed in the right direction. Alternatively, the dream means that you have a tendency to worry needlessly over a situation that will work out in the end.....

...Dreaming of trains may also be a metaphor that you are "in training" for some event, job or goal. According to Freud, a train is analogous to the male penis.

a drunk dream...

I don't dream about being intoxicated too much. I never really have. That's why last night's dream was odd. Here's what I remember..

I'm in a bar that's narrow and white. White seats. White walls. White everything. The bar is even all white. Looks really hip. I'm sitting down in a booth drinking a large pint. Looks more like a pitcher. I go walking for a bit. It's daytime. I go walk on the street. Stores and the area look familiar. It's my hood. But the streets are narrower. More hilly streets. After a smoke, I go back inside. A friend of mine is in my booth. I used to work with her years ago. She's drunk. Passed out. I take a shot and sit next to her. She's grabs me and puts her head on my shoulder. I hold her. I start to fall asleep, too. I place my head on hers. We're comfortable. After a few moments of shut eye, i hear a rumble She vomits.

I wake up.

dream seller dream

I had a dream of dream seller last night.. It inspired the following...

Last night I had a dream of a dream seller.

Gave me cash. Lashed out a sash.

She told me I wanted her hand. I told her I wanted to be in a band.

Sing a love song like Lionel. Long and loud. 

She gave me her hand to hold. I folded my fingers on the back of her hand.

Held tight. Never fight again. Not speaking, man. 

She asked. I replied. I can't lie. I couldn't stand not speaking, man.

Last night I had a dream of a dream seller.

She gave me hope. We coped. Through it all.

Till one of us falls. Always caught. Superman shirt we wear.

For each other. Yes, man. We're there for each other, man.

I can't stop loving you man. Hello? As Lionel sung and she replied.

Yes. I'm there. My dream is a reality. Of a dream seller. 

school work dream

I know I jot down some of my better dreams on here. And I know I haven't done that in a while. It's just that I haven't remembered them. And the ones I do remember, are not that interesting to share. Last night's dream, however, I did remember. Small parts, but enough to write something about it.

I'm obviously in a school. Running around looking for my class. Seems to be my first day. I find this door where I need a pass card. I look through the glass door and it's my old work. All my old co-workers are there. Sitting at their desks. Making calls. I hear the bell. I suddenly find my class. I go in and look for a cubby for my things. I stash my stuff in an available spot and sit down. All new faces. Some girl is pointing at me. She's cute. She's smiling at me. I smile back. I then realize I don't have a pen. I go around the class looking for pens. Writing on my hand see if they work. I finally find one. A red. I see the teacher walk in. I tell her I want to go to the washroom and need a pass card. She gives me her's and says to go to the office to get that pass card and then come back. I leave the class.

I wake up.

The dream was so vivid, I actually woke up looking at my hand seeing if I wrote anything on it.

the wrestling legends dream

Like with anyone who has a great love for a longtime pastime, I think of wrestling a lot. The good old WWE. In my spare time, I check out wrestling videos and shoot videos. I'm part of the 10 percent of smart wrestling internet fans. However, for the amount I think of the squared circle, I don't dream about it much. Till last night. It was a good one. This is how it went...


I'm in a large stadium. By myself. I am lead to my seat by some scurrility guys. I don't know why I'm there till I look out to mid-field and see a wrestling fing set up. I wonder how's on the card. Suddenly, the lights go off. People stand. The ring announcers enters the ring and bellows out the Main Event. The music hits. Shawn Michaels comes out doing his shtick. He enters the ring. Just as he walks over to his corner, the ring announcer announces Michaels' opponent. The one. The only. Ravishing Rick Rude! But he died in 1999. Everyone is playing along as if the ravishing one never passed. As the two legends start to grapple, I turn around to see two officers. They're holding a couple of guns at me. I tell them I never did anything. They tell me be quiet and watch the show.

I wake up.

the yarn dream

The first night I was here in Michigan I had an odd dream. The whole night was collected by odd dreams, actually but this one in particular was strange. Thought I'd share.

I'm in the backseat of my friends car. He's driving. There's people outside of the car shooting water pistols at me. All of them. Running beside the car shooting. All of them laughing and pointing at me. Soon, my friend, who is driving, joins in. He grabs a gun from under the seat and joins the crowd. They slowly leave and soon enough it's just my friend and I. I find a bit of the yarn coming out of my sweater. I pull at it to rip it off. The small bit becomes a huge flowing piece that's going on for miles. Flowing out of the car. It won't stop. The car is full of yarn. My friend is looking for a scissors to cut it off. We can't find any.

I wake up.

the school bus dream

Got a nap in this afternoon. Patio drinking yesterday afternoon which became a late night bar hop fest, got me limping around today and just wanting to curl up in bed, and let the Saturday become night and roll into Sunday. Had this dream, and thought I'd share. Super quick one, but it left an impact on me. Never had a dream like it. Had to share..

I'm on a school bus. Regular long, yellow bus. I'm the only one on it. There's a huge flat screen TV at the front. It's showing some videos of people I don't know. Some people with suits come on. I sit down and wondering what is going to happen. They then talk about someone who I don't know and how they'll be missed. The guy talking then gives me a bouquet of flowers wrapped in the Canadian flag. I leave the bus and a choir is there humming some ritual about overcoming hard times. I walk towards them, nod my head and then walk off. Walk off holding the flowers and the flag.

I wake up.

need coffee

I need a coffee. I am nipping on peanut butter and honey sandwich right now. Need something to wash it down. Sweet and warm. Maybe a mocha? Mom came up with a good way of making one without the pleasure of having all those machines coffee shops have. Thinking of getting out this week. Spend the afternoon at a coffee shop. Work. Write. Relax. Get out. Be with the world.

The power of smell. Had a few dreams about ice cream last night. Woke up. Hungry. looked over. Realized I had my bowl of my midnight serving of double fudge on my desk.. I swear the bowl smirked at me, too in that I-now-control-your-thoughts-I-rule-your-soul kinda way..

Finished my sandwich. Crust is still there. Thinking of using it to mop up the peanut butter and honey that fell on my red plate. Good idea. Gotta finish this. I then can go upstairs. And make coffee.

the recurring hotel dream..

I have had a lot on my mind lately. I don't want to get too much into right now. In due time. Last night I had a couple of nightmares because of it. Here's one of them. It's a recurring dream I've had a few times in the past couple of weeks...

I'm walking around in a hotel. I see a couple of my girlfriends going into their room. I sneak by and look into the window. I see them going to bed. One of them sees me. I start walking away. I then am suddenly in the main lobby where doorman tells me my father is looking for me. I forget my room number. I look into my picket to find my key. The room number is on the key. I take the elevator to the 300th floor. Fast ride, considering. I leave the elevator and I start to walk around in circles looking for the room. I finally hear my family talking from the hallway. I follow the sound and see the door is open. I see my father. He's upset. He asks if I remember an old taxi driver friend of mine named Big Matt. I tell him no. He tells me he got into a car accident and passed away. My father starts to cry.

I wake up.

the gray hair dream..

I could really have named this dream entry a whole bunch of things, but I thought that the whole gray hair part really stood out. That's why I stuck with that as the title of the piece. It was one crazy long dream last night that felt like it went on for at least 9 hours. In reality, I only got just under 3 hours. There's a lot to remember. Trying to but can't. Some parts are still fuzzy. Going to give it a shot.

I'm in my room. Awake. I use my finger to transport from one point to the other. I point to the window and suddenly, I'm there. I point to the door and I go there. I open the door and my friend is there. He tells me to get ready. Gotta go graduate. I appear at a school and there's around 100 people in a large room wearing the blue garb with the hat. We're rehearsing for graduation. They ask me to do the walk-on-stage-get-the-diploma bit. I walk towards the stage. But turn around. I repeat this a few times. Can't get on the stage. I get confused. Stressed. I ask to go to the washroom. I go to the washroom. Wash my hands. Look in the mirror and I'm gray. My whole head is gray. Shaved and gray. My two day beard is even gray. I get scared. I don't want to go back out there. Aren't I just in high school? Why am I gray already? I wonder what's happening. I escape and go to the nearby plaza. Get a coffee and sit down. Everyone is looking at me. Wondering what's up. I run to the washroom. Open the door.

I wake up.

miami dreams

Couple dreams of note I had this week while in Miami. Last night I had one. This is how it went.

I'm in a huge room and looking at a TV screen. It's me on the TV. Talking on a payphone and waiting for the bus in the rain. The video speeds up and it's me in fast motion, smoking a fag, kicking leaves, talking to myself, texting, getting impatient. The bus comes and I get on it. Oh yeah. It was in black and white, too.

Another one? I'm with a girl at a coffee shop by the ocean. No one else is there. Just me. Her. The blue waves and clear white sand dancing between our toes. We're talking. I then reach out to hold her hand. I look at her huge ring on her small finger. I ask her about it. She tells me I gave it to her last year. When we met up one night. She said she has never taken it off and will never. I asked if it symbolizes our love. She smiles and puts her head down. She doesn't answer. I ask again. Again. No answer. I play with her long brown hair. She gets up and starts to walk around. She's walking fast in circles. As she walks, she fades away until I don't see her anymore.

I wake up.

the disturbing dream..

I really don't know where I was. I'll explain. It's a dream from moments ago. Reason why I'm up now at almost 3am and not able to go back to sleep. I'm at some type of music festival. Just got there. I'm in the press area. Walking around but seem to only be bumping into strangers and other people I don't know. Going in circles. I then hump into this one guy who is talking to a girl. He is excited to see me. He told me he went to school with me and saw our old teacher a while back. We talk. I then leave and walk backstage to see if I can get to the bar. I suddenly am transformed and am in a hospital. Walking briskly down a hallway. I'm there to see my friend who passed away in 2004. I go see him. He's in a large white room. We're talking when he pulls out a blue binder. It's his writings. He gives me the book to look through. It's a mix of a diary and a sketching board. He won't tell me the meanings behind some of his entries and sketches. As he tells me that he converts into an old lady. In a wheelchair. She now tells me that I should take the book and to write some stuff in it. She asks me if I have any good ideas. I say no. I try to walk away but she forces the book on me. I finally take it and leave the room. I put the book down outside the room thinking someone will give it back to her. Or him. As I'm leaving, a girl I know walks in. She asks me where I'm going. I say home.

I wake up.

vivid dreams in my head

Vivid dreams are always the best. When you are in that state of being awake and sleep, you are wondering if this is real or not. If you're actually flying around with a red elephant and a huge spliff. That dream didn't go down, but I'm sure everyone have had similar ones. Here are a couple that happened this week.

I am in a huge theater by myself. Eating popcorn and drinking a huge Coke. The movie starts to play. The movie ends up being my dreams. All of them. In order. My dream history literally flashing before my eyes. The movie ends. I walk out of the theater and see some friends. I tell them what happened. They tell me that everyone is able to do that. Record dreams and watch them later while in a conscienceless state. Awesome, I think.


This last one I had last night. I'm in my room running around looking for my camera. I see a bunch of different ones. Different sizes, shapes, types, makes, but none of them are mine. I hear some talking downstairs. I'm dressed up in a nice suit and I'm bugging out about how my hair looks. Constantly looking in the mirror. I find my camera. I head downstairs. As I'm rushing down, I'm making sure my camera is working. I then see him. Russell Simmons. He's in my house doing some PR stuff for his clothing line. I walk up to him and talk business with him. He tells me he likes how I look and wants to use me in one of his ads. We pose of a picture.

I wake up.

natural thoughts through nightmares..

Waiting for water to boil and listening to raindrops hitting the swings in the backyard quietly as everyone sleeps around me. Woke up because I had to remember something. I picked up my phone and left myself a memo. Done. Now, I can't seem to go back to sleep. Always happens. I vaguely remember why I had to remember it or what the dream was about, but I do remember being in a room and looking down and I saw shapes joined together. Turned out to be words. The words said Natural Thoughts Through Nightmares. Huh. Again, No idea what this means. Be it as it may. This is not the most important thing right now. Just heard about Japan. My thought process is turning towards them, now as I get up to get my tea.

long weekend naps...

While the social media sphere is like a ghost town this weekend, I'm enjoying the long weekend catching up on some work, listening to some old CD's that I haven't heard in a while and enjoying the company of the family. Slippers on. Tea in hand. It's been a quiet weekend. Hibernating indoors with my comfy clothes on and just being thankful for what's around me. And the talents I have. And the positivity and strength that beams out when I use these powers to my own advantage.

I have to remember not to keep the television on when going to sleep. I've most likely have said it on here before, but I keep falling asleep before taking off the tube. And it haunts me for the rest of the night. Crazy dreams follow mixed up with various voices that don't match the faces or the people that are in my mind. Last night, I had a dream that I was awoken by an alarm clock thinking I had to go to my old high school for the Grade 12 play. I called my friend (who has since passed away) and told him I was going to be late. Next thing I knew I was running down a sidewalk on a sunny afternoon with no socks on nor shoes. I was skipping to the beat trying to get to the school so I can rest my burning feet. Finally get there and I ran into the washroom and pulled out a pair of long black socks. Put them on and then took off my sweater. I woke up.

I try not to analyze dreams too much so I won't bother to find any meaning into this, but it was weird. Woke up and found they were talking about track and field in high schools on the television. I guess that solved most of the puzzle. Thinking the whole sock thing was just made up by me.

As I am about to dig into my double decker grilled chicken sandwich with extra mayo and ranch dressing - Yes, I love creamy sauces - here's the lesson of the day. Open yourself up to what you have inside of you in what's the rest of this long weekend and listen to what your soul is saying. You might learn something new and if not, you will just grow from the experience. And that's what it's all about.