I tend to try to make this entry very short every year. Or I just avoid on doing it. I have to remember that it's therapeutic. It's always good to vent. Even if what you're venting about happened months ago and not really important anymore. Or well, relevant. I guess it is always relevant but not as much as it once was. Everything is kinda relevant if it helped you grow. Right?
This is where I talk about what the kind of year I had. I seem not to like it because I don't like digging up old emotions and old stories and old situations that are now in the past. I just like to think I conquered them and I was able to move on. Again, it is therapeutic. That's the main reason why I do this. Which is good. Which I have to remember.
2010 wasn't the best year. Even though I did accomplish a ton of stuff and did find more of myself and progressed to another level mentally and professionally, it seems like the negative continued to out power the positive. The sad lead the happy. The bad was more than the good. However, with some work and mental willpower, I was able to mourn and conquer. Took the time to be mad, sad or whatever and never again think that this inner pain will last forever - which no matter how old you are you think it will. You think it will consume you till your death. Will be the end of you. I came close to thinking that, too. But that's another story for another day. I'm just happy that I was able to come to that realization sooner than later and was able to cut the mourning process in half and started to look forward instead of looking backward with a broken heart, stressful head and an aching body from trying to forget it all.
On the good side, I was able to feed this creative bug that seemed to bother a lot in the past and actually started to make money from it. Using my creative mind for good. For once. The creative measures helped me escape and motivated me to move on and continue to grow. I would sit in the basement. Dark, gloomy and late, I would be creating something. Before I knew something it was the following day. I forgot for a bit. I did something productive and I was one day closer to that day when I can say that I overcame. Overcame what would be at that time the biggest monster to hit me.
Even though I never was a huge fan of 2010, I never wanted 2011 to come sooner. I didn't want to hide myself from the earth and I never wanted to be on solo missions forgetting others around me. Trust me. I have been there. Done that. I think everyone does that. It's natural. It became a year when I embraced the negative to see what the soul can take and learn more about myself. I put myself out there. Yelled at the world and told it What else do you got for me to battle with? and sure enough, it would give me something else to battle and yes. I cam out victorious. This is why I enjoyed living in the moment no matter how hard and mind draining it was.
2011 I hope is going to be a better year, for sure. But I think that now that I beat The Year of Learning and Growing whatever 2011 brings I know I can handle because I know it won't beat me. It'll just make me stronger. And that's the real thing I have to remember.
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