she alone.

She tends to stutter as she speaks to herself walking down the packed downtown streets. People. All types. Office types. Home bodies, students. Cab drivers, couriers, kids with their parents walking hand-in-hand. All she notices, though is herself and her thoughts within. Where am I going? What do I have to do after? Dinner? Take-out or cook? Need to buy anything for tomorrow? Any meetings this week? Do I have time for coffee tonight? What's up for the weekend? Daily thoughts that occupy her hectic young life as a professional. As her glowing hair brushes on her waist as she skips through a dozen people waiting at the red light, she J-walks through an intersection playing cat and mouse with the city drivers. She runs into a Starbucks and quickly gets handed a Grande Double Double with a shot of lemon. She's a regular and the staff know her. On any other day they would sit there and chat for a bit but she is too busy. Been like that for a while now. At least since after the break-up. She runs back outside to be back with her thoughts. Coffee in one hand and her briefcase in the other she tries to pick up the vibrating phone without having to stop. She quickly realizes she can't. She finds a bench on the side of the street where people stand to wait for the 44a Northbound. She picks up the phone and in a demanding voice says "Hello". It's her secretary. She tells her that she can't speak right now and that she'll talk to her when she gets back to the office. She hangs up. Frustrated, she almost drops her coffee. A man stops. Asks if she needs any help. She forcefully responds "No" and scurries away. The man looks at her dumbfounded. All he wanted to do is help. No helping her. She isn't having it. Maybe it would've been different before the break-up. She starts to mumble and stutter her words in her head even more. The man looked like him. Everything seems to look like him. She has to move forward, though. She keeps on walking not looking back. Forcing her thoughts back on her. Coffee tonight? What's going on this weekend? Rent a movie tonight? I really need to get back to the office. Place is crazy without me there. She continues to think to herself as she sips on her coffee. The office is another two blocks away. She has to get there soon. She starts to chug the coffee. She finishes it. Throws it in the street just missing an oncoming black Civic four-door. With her free hand she picks up her phone from her pocket, thinking of the weekend. Need to forget about things. To be with people. She picks up her phone and starts to calling her girls. Seeing what's going on. She calls a few of her friends. No answer. She wonders why. It was different before the break-up. She silently realizes this as she heads up the stairs to her office to work and be with her thoughts. Alone.