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G&B: Apologies to Sting

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Monday, December 20, 2010

unpretty.

One thing I value in myself is that I have stayed grounded. No matter what, I've always remained a down-to-hearth person. Not like I really have a reason to be snobby, I'm just saying. I'm pretty cool. Because of my coolness, I've always had a good rational on choosing people I want to be acquainted with. Let's take this a step further. Let's narrow down the demo. Let's say I have always had a good sense on what type of girls I have liked. Over the years, they've come in all shapes. All sizes. All colors. All types of personalities. Over the years, I've been able to narrow down the bracket to a nice little niche on who I like on the personality tip. What they're like. What type of goals they have. Type of sense of humor they have. Their dreams. Aspirations, and such. Really. I don't care what type of goals, dreams, and aspirations they might have. As long as they have something. Someone who is not directed somehow is really stale, I find. Someone who doesn't dream, can't hang with me. I have dreams. Goals. Aspirations. I found that someone who doesn't share the same ideals in that sense, hold me back. People who want to progress forward have this un-spoken rush about them that they just seem to share off their inner glow. Their vibe. Now that's the real jackpot because that's where the true beauty is.

But hey. Girls personality, goals and dreams isn't what this article is about. Kinda dragged on there a bit.

Let's get back to the point.

I guess this has always been around me. It's not till I had a nephew and two nieces I have noticed parents with their kids. And how the the little ones are treated. In a matter of five days I've witnessed some sad states of parenting by seemingly well educated mothers. We usually call them the Soccer Mom. OK. So I scratch out the whole well educated part. Now I see why young girls are getting more and more screwed up as we evolve as a society. More teenage pregnancies, boob-jobs, drug use, alcoholism, eating disorders. How these women treat their young girls is disgusting and sad. It's insulting, abusive and unheard of. Well. At least I thought it was. I've realized how prominent it is. The saddest thing about this whole thing is that I'm talking about within a small radius of a suburban Canadian town in Northern Toronto this is going down. Some might say that it's more acceptable or expected up here because most of the time this is where the average stuck up Soccer Mom is dwelling. I guess it's one of those not in my town kinda realizations.

I know I don't know everything about girls. I know so much to know as soon as I admit I know girls answers, they change the questions. I also know that girls are pretty much a very insecure species. Especially in the awkward teenage years. They're too young to have a male super-hero to take them by the waist and protect them and insure them that things are OK and that they're the only girl in the world. They use the Hollywood boys to do that for them. Living through the girls in the videos and movies. However, they do look at their parents for that little extra word of motivation to keep their head up high enough the water so they don't drown in a long term insecurity pitfall. It's when the parents start to put down their kids and belittle them and tell to loose weight, get some type of surgery to alter the perfectly fine body part, be like fill-in-the-blank more is when they loose trust in human beings. It's because their super hero made them cry all night and made them hate themselves. If your hero hates you, why would you think others would like you? This ends up haunting the girls for the rest of their teenage years which floats into their early 20's when they're around drinks, drugs and the worst thing of all. Guys. As soon as the dude tells them a good word, they run to them and show them the affection they've been missing for all these years and before you know it. They're addicted to some type of drug, have a drinking problem and have attempted abortion twice. Maybe they're good and only have one of the above. Some girls can handle it. They meet some good person. Teacher, Boyfriend, Friend, Advisor. Shrink that actually like them for them and cure them for the hurtful words that they were told so many moons ago. However, needle taken. Damage done. On a pharmacological tip, it's hard to repair such damage already caused. Hard to get close to someone because they're afraid that these people will too - sooner or later - will rip them apart too and cause them to hate themselves for trying to love again.

Parents must realize how these little words they're saying will stay with their kids for years and will effect them. Remember Jackie's relationship with her Mom on Roseanne? Classic example. She ended up being the town slut and had to see a shrink while wanting her mother dead. Some girls will never confess on hating their parents and some will openly acknowledge their hatred and emotionally disown them. Either way, always turns out sad.

All this spun off by little statements. Things like why can't you get grades like her, or you could loose 20 more pounds or your breasts should be bigger.

And yeah. Another thing I know about girls. They're human too. Maybe more human than their human counterparts. When they hear something they remember it. I know that for sure. They never forget. Esepcially the bad things. When someone says something it'll haunt them and they'll do something to forget about it or try to fix it. Most of the time, they do negative things impacting their bodies. The more hurtful the word usually comes from the person who they love the most. It's time to spread positivity to girls and make them realize the goddess' they are while motivating them positively. Unpretty has become too much of a common slang around these parts. That has to stop. Now.


As I reflect back on what I’ve used and abused
And detect that I need some clues to get through
To those that accused me of never being true
I’ll lose if I play into this game and never know the rules
So how do I bring out the me nobody sees
The forest for the trees, how ’bout the woman behind the weave
The light from within this life is the only real remedy
Or find the reflection you see to be so damn unpretty
Unpretty - TLC

If you are one of these girls who think have been verbally or mentally abused, please feel free to check out To Write On Her Arms on where you can find help.
You can also call Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 to speak to someone.