movin' on through reflection..

I've been doing some inner reflection lately. Asking the big questions. Why? When? How? Who. Is there? What's out there? All the questions most put off till later. Just hurts the brain, I guess. It's been devoting my life. Trying not to think about it, then something would spark it and I go right back into that inner road trip down the long green valley of so-so thoughts and surprising conclusions. Life has changed. My thought process has evolved. The Meaning has been found. Almost. I'm closer now than I was a few months ago. I know I am. I can see it. Just can't touch it. Yet. It's amazing how a few things in your life just happen. You could've seen it coming, but then it happens and boom. Your whole life turns around. All mixed up. Like someone came under your world and turned it all over. Somethings are gone. Somethings are new. Somethings are misplaced. Somethings are found. Now, you have to start to put everything back together. You place somethings higher than before. Some stuff go on a lower shelf. Somethings you put away - only to pick up some of the time. Not as much as you once did. You wake up and start going ahead with your daily routine. Every once in a while during the day, you remember that your life is all in shatters like a glass bowl on the floor in a million pieces. You try to hide your emotions and be strong. Sometimes, it's easy. To forget throughout the day. But sometimes, it isn't. The breeze hits you, the way the sun is structured. Something a stranger does behind you on the bus. The way the lady in the office looks that day. Something reminds you and then you start to think. Think too hard. It's when you start to only glace over these details not thinking about it is when you know it's safe to move on. Till then, however, you gotta give it time. Let it absorb you if need be. Let it be in your head, if you feel like it. Because that's the only way you will be able to move forward. Safely.