being honest and all..

It was a while since this happened, but I thought I'd share. I'll leave out the names of the innocent. I was sitting down having a drink with a best bud of mine a while back when I asked him if he was seeing a shrink. I had heard from someone else he was. He admitted to it. I told him I went to a couple. Once a couple years ago and the previous time back in high school. We talked about how shrinks are pretty cool because they just listen. You can go there. Sit. Talk. Tell the truth and all they do is just listen. Be quiet and listen. Sometimes, they would nod or just ask why, how, where, when, or with who? My pal and I also talked about the drugs that we had to take. That was the fun part of the conversation. Now that I'm much better I feel like I'm in a better place to be that shrink to others. I know it's a tough road to take when you are seeing one. You feel embarrassed. Small. Weak. Helpless. But actually, you're huge. It takes a big man to admit they're going to see a shrink.

I'm not saying that I don't need one anymore or won't need one anymore. Maybe I do. Maybe I will. I don't know. I just know that I'm able now to focus my negative energy and thoughts in positive directions. Painting, Writing, Creating. I know how to vent. I know the times when I have to stop drinking and just sit at a coffee shop till the wee hours of the morning and do nothing but think. I know now. I'm sure they'll be a time when something happens and I go back down that road where I became an obsessive drinking, snorter and crying wreck, but for now I'm good. Thanks, Doc.

My writing has really helped. The feedback I've received from people who read my entries on here during those times have helped. My love I've gotten from friends has helped. My new direction has helped. It's not being small to ask for help. It's always out there. Just have to ask for it.