going dark

“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." Cyril Connolly

A reader recently told me that my writing this year has been darker. I'd rather say more honest. And yes. That was on purpose. Every day I try to accomplish something new. Take my writing to the next level. This year, my goal is to write more about myself and my stories than just stuff that's going on in my day in and day out life. I guess you can say it's fuel for that book I've been wanting to write for a while now. Someday, Shane. Someday, it'll be done. Sometimes I just don't have any stories to tell. Someday's I just want to write about what's going on. How my coffee went cold or that I fell on some black ice while going to grab smokes. How I got denied by a girl. How my date went. I can't control that. What the mind wants to think about it'll think about thus what I will write about. Some days I want to be like your grandfather and just want to tell stories of the old country. And the old times. Before computers and cell phones. The simpler days. The happier days. There I go dark, again. Dark usually means that you're getting honest. Honesty is not always sunshine and Happy Meals. It has that rustic texture to it that make people shy away. It's too real for them. It is what it is, I guess. As a writer I write what I feel.. If I don't, that's when I have to hang it up. When I'm writing for the masses and not for the self. My writing will only effect people when it's truth. Truth is what hits people and make them feel something. If you look at the greatest songs of all time, there's an inch of truth in there. A bit of something that people can relate to. I want people to relate to me. I might be dark, sometimes. That's just how it goes. I'll put on the jacket of death, carry a big stick and wonder around grave sites digging up sentences that will make my readers shiver. But at least they felt something. Much better if I were to write about my go lucky experiences at the county fair that gets no reaction. Dark is good sometimes. And I'm not only talking chocolate. I'll try to lighten the mood, however, but I can't force what the soul tells me. If I made you feel, I've done my job. And I'm grateful.