etta and sarah.

Woke up with a massive headache. I felt confused and lost. I couldn't concentrate. I didn't know what was going on. I woke up still thinking of a dream I had last night. Malcolm came to see me on a bus to talk to me. Yes. The Malcolm. But this was Malcolm pre-X. When he was still a Little and his nickname was Red. It made sense. I've been reading a lot about Malcolm X and Martin Luther King lately. I have been studying both of those guys since I was a young lad. I remember sporting a Malcolm X shirt before the movie came out and my friends wondering who he was. It was just a few weeks after the release of the Spike Lee flick when everyone was sporting the shirts and the hat. The black baseball cap with the white X. Those were huge. Getting off track. I woke up thinking about the dream. Happy that I just had maybe the best dream ever,  I felt out of place. I didn't know why. I popped a Tylenol and poured a chocolate chai . I sat in front of my computer and was just lost. Nothing was coming. Head hurting even more. Then I heard about Etta James. I had just finished watching some stuff about Canadian Freestyle Skier Sarah Burke who passed earlier this week. Bummed. Confused. Lost. Not even knowing why. I shut off my television and started to surf the web for Etta videos. I read the words fans left on Twitter and Facebook. There was a lot of death going on today. Didn't like it. I started to wonder more about why people say what they do when people die. Quick responses on a hard subject. Looking back, we all have done the same. How do we really know that the dead is "happier now" or if they're in a "better place"? We don't. It's just a reinsurance that the loved one is being taken care of by whoever is on that dreaded other side.

I cued up Something's Got a Hold on Me. Topped up my tea and continued my thought process. All of this while trying to continue on with my day and replying to E-Mails. The show must go on, after all. 

Thought of the floating. The spiritual aspect of the afterlife. If there was an afterlife. This was some heavy duty thinking for 10am on a Friday before breakfast. But I trooped it out. I even went deeper. But let's not go that deep on here. I decided to write down my thoughts. But I couldn't it. My head was too busy with other thoughts. I had other pressing matters. I finally realized that my over-thinking of matters that aren't pressing will just make things worse. Think of the things I have control of. Like my destiny. What I'll eat for lunch. If I'm going to go out this weekend. The important stuff. 

I turned up the volume and appreciated the smooth voice of Etta. I flipped through some flicks of Sarah Burke that the Post posted. I drank my tea. I was feeling better by just not thinking too much. That Tylenol must've kicked in. 

Malcolm should've warned me about today.