one to grow on...

Welcome 2011.

The Blog is turning 3 years old next month. Crazy as I go back and read my old entries. How the page has evolved over time. Naturally. Organically. I really loved how I have changed or tweaked the page while I changed as a person. As I thought fit. It seems like the page grew with me. It reflected what I was going through at that time. Like a singer/songwriter who delivers their raw emotions in their songs. Sometimes an album reflects their bad break-up, a death, a new life, a legal problem. Anything. Whatever they were feeling at the time. That's why it seems very overwhelming for me at times to go back and see the progression I took to build the page. Thinking back to what I was going through at the time. Feeling. Thinking. The first month of this page, I was depressed. I created the blog to overcome some really bad stuff. You can tell through my writing. You can tell by my entries where I was putting myself down and there wasn't one entry where I didn't mention how sad I was feeling. I didn't want to tell others about my updates. Didn't promote the page on Facebook or Myspace. I was ashamed. Yes. I have been down since, but not that bad. I quit drinking for 97 days shortly after. I helped others quit and be clean. I also helped others overcome negative thoughts about life and live in a positive light. I grew. This page was a huge part of my recovery and helping others overcome sad times.

A while ago, I thought I would erase some old entries however, I voted against it. All these little blurbs I did back in 2008 are apart of me. They're apart of my progression. They are me. Erasing them is erasing some of me. Besides, when I feel bad or sad or depressed, I look back at those write-ups and realize I've been worse. Back then I felt like I was a crack addict who was on my knees and salvaging for extra change just for another hit. I hit rock bottom. It almost killed me. There's no way I want to be back to those times. This page is more than a blog or a promotional tool for me to get people to see how I write and what I write about, it's a reminder for me to see how I have grown. But most importantly, it's here for others to know that some had it worse and overcame it. And they're here for you, too to listen.

I look forward to my 3rd anniversary. It'll be a special one.