me and seasonal affective disorder.

If you have been a long time reader of the blog, You would know that every year I diagnose myself with S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). The last few years it's been rough. Usually kicks in somewhere in the third or fourth week of November. I'm pretty sure I have it. No doctor has said anything about it. Actually a few years ago, a doctor did advise I showed some of the symptoms - overeating, oversleeping, not wanting to hang out with family and friends. Tiredness. This year, I haven't really felt anything. So far. I've been overall, pretty happy. Maybe it'll kick in later? Maybe after New Years? I don't know. Maybe I won't get it this year. Maybe I cured myself. Maybe something around me is making me feel otherwise.

One part of me kinda looks forward to my gloomy winter days. It's when I tend to create some of my best work. Designs, paintings, even blog posts. I write a lot. I paint a lot and I spend a lot of my time on designing stuff. I gain weight and I save some money while I'm at it. It's the bad feelings I have that is the hard part. The days feeling empty and alone and well. Sad. At least I've learned to deal with it by focusing my energy on positive hobbies. Things that empower me rather than focusing on negative short-term solutions that just cause detrimental results. It is the season for that to happen, though. It's easier to delve into things that you don't tent to usually. It's the whole anti-Holiday cheer thing. Seems people get extra depressed around the holidays. They drink just that much. They use drugs a bit more. They smoke a bit more. They stay out late, have one nigh stands. Things that don't necessarily reflect them as a person. I don't know why. People do. I guess they feel even more alone during the holidays since family and couples are totally exploited around this time of year? I don't know. I'm just glad I don't get to that level. I know that I have people around me. The whole S.A.D thing is medical. A lack of serotonin. Maybe at times I do feel extra alone during the winter months, but I snap out of it and smarten up and look around me and see that people love me. Have I confused you, yet? Hope not. It's not the easiest thing to talk explain. So many crossed meanings and uncertain results. I just don't understand it all. I mean, I know whats going on and why it's going on, but every year is different. Symptoms, experiences, feelings. It's one of these things where you have to go day by day. One day at a time. With your head up.

Check out more about S.A.D by going to the Canadian Mental Health Association website.