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G&B: Apologies to Sting

It's been a blast, folks. The Worlds Most Popular Podcast is signing off. Truth to be told, there's not enough hours in the day for ...

Thursday, August 4, 2011

i now understand my lohan crush..

I have this weird school-boy-I-giggle-all-the-time-when-I-see-her type of crush on Lindsay...

I know why.

She's the tortured soul. That tortured soul that needs help. You know she's still fixable. Fixable so she can be that ideal wifey. That wonderful lady that you can come home to and have food ready on the table and have your clothes washed and put away. Even have your boxers in the right drawer. Beside the socks. Mind you. (I'm idealizing here. I'm pretty sure I'll be doing most of the cooking in my marriage if it really came down to it.) Anyway. I'm rambling. Back to the point.


Lindsay is not a total waste. She's not a drugged out mental case that won't be rehabilitated. Chick who would rather do a few lines and s shoot up rather than get baby food and do basic house chores. Those girls are not hot. They're sad stories. A wasted life. Linday could've been there. She won't though. And that's the big attraction. She's not perfect. Guys subconsciously need that. The need to feel like they're providing more than just the bread and beer to the household. They need to feed that man ego and know that they're swooping in and saving the damsel's life from King Kong and the attack of the Cocaine Bandits. They need to feel like they're needed. Lindsay feeds that need. The need to fix.

Not change. Fix. They're different.


It's common knowledge girls have that need to change. Girls treat guys like their Ken doll. Change the guy to suit them. They change how he dresses, looks, acts, and even what he eats to suit what they want in her ideal. Guys are content on what they have. They find a girl and runs with it. However, they fix the problems that occur. They don't change her. Girls change guys like they change the clothes on their dolls. Guys fix things which occur in change. Much like Superman.


Would Lindsay still be so hot if she wasn't troubled? Would Lois Lane still be so attractive to Clark if she never got in trouble? Beautiful women. It's that need of feeling needed that takes that sense of beauty to the next level.

...And this is why I giggle all the time when I see Lindsay Lohan. I now understand.