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G&B: Apologies to Sting

It's been a blast, folks. The Worlds Most Popular Podcast is signing off. Truth to be told, there's not enough hours in the day for ...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

14 days sober

Sober. 14 days strong. It seems like it's so much easier the second time around. This time, I'm also giving up smoking at the same time. Haven't had no real temptation at all. The most I get is something to do with my hands while walking somewhere. Otherwise, I don't really want to smoke. I guess it still has to do with that dream I had last week. I'm still scared of sparking a cigarette. On the drinking side, it's been good. I remember thinking about this last year. How I thought quitting drinking would be harder. It isn't really that hard. I think it's because it's that whole wanting to fit in situation where you really don't need that drink or not really addicted to alcohol but you force yourself into thinking so, so you won't give it up. You don't want to force yourself into quitting because you're worried if you'd be socially accepted if you do quit. However, when you realize that you're fine and all your friends will continue to be your friends when you quit, you wonder why you didn't quit earlier.

The painful hangovers in the mornings? The smelly vodka smell remains on your clothes? The beer breath? These are the reasons why I don't miss drinking. What I think about when I think of going out for a pint and a couple of shots.

Yes, I do think about having a drink. All the time. I'm human, aren't I?

A friend asked me recently if this is going to be forever. I know I'm done smoking forever. But drinking? Not too sure yet. I might start back up again. Down the road. I might not. I might become an occasional drinker - which I don't think could happen. OCD can be a bitch.

Whatever I do decide is for me. Not because of being socially accepted or to feel better about myself. It'll because I want it for different reasons. My reasons. Reasons that will make me feel good.

And that's the only way I'll remain spiritually sober from getting drunk for the wrong reasons ever again.