stuff...

Stuff. I love just stuff. Undescriptive, spontaneous stuff. I'm naming this stuff because well, that's what I think it'll be. Just stuff. Good stuff. Bad stuff. Plain stuff, stressful stuff. Just stuff. Someone once told me that If I like to write, just write stuff and see what comes out. He was right. I find that when I sit down and have set plan on what I'm going to write, it comes out very well..set and dictated and organized and well, boring. When I have to write stuff, just for the love of it and trying to get my creative muscles going, I find that the finished product comes out so much better. I feel like I'm in a lost land going away from the path finding a whole new world to experiment. I feel free in a way. This is one thing I would like to do more often. Sit down and just write.

Stuff.


I can compare it to going on the same Sunday drive with the folks for years and years and then one Sunday you just break out and yell out `Let's go Left instead of Right today and see where the road takes us'. Dad unwillingly follows the undetermined path while Mom is searching to grab onto some kind of compass or map to read out some kind of destination when you just want to drive until you need gas or coffee or rest. Just go, you're thinking. Just go and see where we end up. No sense of looking at a map or worrying about how far we'll tread. Just head south until I say stop. I think too many people are the parents. Looking for some kind of third party help in their lives trying to be guided when more people should be the teenager yelling for freedom and exploration in the backseat.

Random thought, I know. I don't know where it came from, it just came to me - like in the past few minutes. Really. Never really thought of that analogy until I was writing it.


See what can happen you just write..Stuff?

Here's more...

I'm starting this whole drinking once a week trend. It's going well. Saving a bunch of cash and resting a whole lot and able to do more things around the house that I usually don't have time to do because I'm busy recovering or resting or being lazy. I think about last year when I quit drinking and how much I enjoyed waking up on the weekend sober and able to enjoy the whole day without a headache or the worry that I said something wrong while drunk or that I fell and don't remember. I feel the same way now.


I'm also trying to only smoke on the weekends - which is me cutting back a whole lot. I'm feeling the decrease of tobacco and nicotine and other weird chems that I've been inhaling for more than 12 years now. Yuck. Just that sentence makes me throw up. Soon Shane, I'll be done. For good. I tried a few weeks ago but It didn't happen. I'm just too glued to this habit as my crutch it's scary. I want to be rid of it. I never thought It would be tougher to quit than say, Drinking. It is. Why did I do it for this long? Geez.


Needing canvas. More canvas. I want a couple of really huge ones so I can do something for my bedroom. I want to matching pieces for my two walls. I would also like to do commissioned piece for my Dad's office that he keeps on telling me about. I just want to paint. Need time to go find the right type of paint. The right canvas. The right everything and start the projects. Looking forward to it.


I guess that's all the stuff I have for now. I'll try to write some more stuff soon. Stuff is good.